I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.
Repeating this over and over in my head should be the first step on my journey towards an attitude of self-love, with a little pit stop at the station of self-acceptance, and will hopefully turn into I’m awesome someday. I’m curious − do you love who you are? Can you step in front of a mirror and tell yourself that you’re awesome in a sincere way and, most importantly, believe yourself?
I know I can’t. Not yet. At least not consistently. I like myself better on some days than on others, depending on whether I believe I am worthy of being loved or accepted on that particular day. If I consider that one of my day’s actions wasn’t good (enough), I immediately switch to not liking myself so much, which entails all sorts of consequences for my general well-being and self-confidence.
I did something bad − I really suck − No wonder [insert person’s name here] cancelled plans with me − Why did I even bother trying − I’ll never be good enough.
See how fast thoughts can spiral out of control? Note that a “bad” thing doesn’t even need to be anything important. It can be the most random incident and it may not even be considered a big deal by most people, even those who witnessed it as it took place. In my world however, it probably is a big deal, considering it sent me down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts.
In light of this, it’s essential for me to hit pause every now and then. I know that I should do it a lot more often, but I try to remind myself on a regular basis to stop for a minute in order to appreciate the person that I am today and to tell myself that I’m okay. I try (and often fail 😉 …) to do so without belittling myself and from a place of gratitude. I tell myself that my feelings, dreams and even fears are valid and that I don’t need to be ashamed because of how I’m feeling. It’s okay to feel lost, to not know and to not be okay. It’s okay to struggle. It doesn’t make me any less worthy. Of love. Of being appreciated, included and supported.
For those of you who think it’s a cheesy thing to declare your love for yourself − it totally is! But cheesiness has never stopped anyone from declaring their love for someone else, has it..?
Appreciating myself doesn’t mean at all that I consider myself perfect the way I am and thus preventing any kind of change or self-betterment. It just means that I want to give myself credit for all the effort, heartbreak, sweat and tears it took me to become the person I am today. I’m not perfect, but nobody is. I’m flawed, but so is everyone else.
And so are you.